Wednesday, February 22, 2012

When The Body Speaks

Well readers, it's been a while since I've seen my precious Kat and the yearning that has been building since the last time we were together is becoming unbearable. Unfortunately, this week, a week that was supposed to be full of possibilities, has been ruined for me by an anatomical anomaly(That's what the doctor called it... Really!).  No, it isn't anything life threatening, just more of a reoccurring nuisance. This time, the doctor wanted me to have an MRI on the same day I was hoping to see Kat. Is he crazy??? Doesnt he know how much I need to see her, to be in her arms and to feel myself deep inside her? Obviously not! It's ironic... This sabotage by my own body, the same body that can't wait to be with her, is the same one undergoing MRIs and being poked and prodded all to make sure I don't have anything that could potentially kill me. All of that really doesn't matter to me right now because all I am thinking about is how I can't see Kat because my body has let me down. And then I think, "The week isn't over yet!", and I text Kat to check her availability... Hopefully, something will work!

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Alone on Valentine's Day?

Okay, I'll say it.  I'm having a rough day. It's Valentine's Day, and Hubby is out of town and JJ is busy doing the V-Day thing for his wife and then working. Even my best friend feels distant today.

Not having a sweetie nearby on Valentine's day really isn't very much fun.

So, I'm trying to remember that today is really just another day.  There's nothing magical about it. Not being with Hubby or JJ today does not mean I'm not loved.

I wonder what other folks do on Valentine's Day when they can't be with the one they love?

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Seduces Me

For JJ -
From Kat

This is how I'm thinking of you today.

SEDUCES ME (Celine Dion)

(Chorus 1:)
Ev'rything you are
Ev'rything you'll be
Touches the current of love
So deep in me
Ev'ry sigh in the night
Ev'ry tear that you cry
Seduces me

And all that I am
And all that I'll be
Means nothing at all
If you can't be with me
Your most innocent kiss
Or your sweetest caress
Seduces me

I don't care about tomorrow
I've given up on yesterday
Here and now is all that matters
Right here with you is where I'll stay

Ev'rything in this world
Ev'ry voice in the night
Ev'ry little thing of beauty
Comes shining through in your eyes
And all that is you
Becomes part of me, too
'Cause all you do
Seduces me

And if I should die tomorrow
I'd go down with a smile on my face, oh
I thank God I've ever known you
I fall down on my knees
For all the love we've made

Ev'ry sigh in the night
Ev'ry tear that you cry
Seduces me
Oh, seduces me
And all that you do
Seduces me 

Monday, February 6, 2012

Thinking of Him All the Time

I sent this picture to JJ a few weeks after we met.  It was true.  I was thinking about him all the time. And I wasn't just thinking about sex with him.  I was thinking about talking with him,  too, and just being close to him. I checked my email obsessively to see if  he had written, and when he did, I read his messages more than once....or twice..or more.

Of course, that's what new relationships are like. Every day brings a new discovery and every encounter  reveals something new about your lover and yourself.

The problem is that newness, that honeymoon period, eventually ends.  It usually doesn't end abruptly, but the newness fades away.  Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.

Then what? Heck, for most of us, it's the boredom of a long term marriage that led us to look outside our marriage for ...well, you know.

Some of us jump from affair to affair in constant search of that newness. But it was different with JJ.

That's how I knew there was something very special about our relationship.  When the newness wore off, I  found I was still thinking of him often. I still do.

I think about his kindness and the sweet things he says.  I think about his sense of humor and how he makes me laugh.  I think about his work and I worry that he works too hard. I think about how I can't wait to write to him to tell him about my day.  I think about when I'll be able to take a naughty photo for him.  I think about how he'll respond to it when he sees it. I think about how I can't wait to see him again.

And, yes, I think about the sex, and his kiss....and how amazing I feel when I'm with him.

It's not like there isn't routine that develops after being together for months, but that routine feels comforting, solid.  A little routine and predictability can be good things, and they don't  have to cool the heat in a relationship.

Looking forward to seeing JJ again brings back that newness for me....and then I can't stop thinking about him....again.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Anxiously Awaiting

So, I'm laying here next to my sleeping wife and I'm texting Kat at the same time. All awhile, writing this post. I'm excited that I get to see Kat tomorrow, I guess it's actually today now. The need to be with her over rides everything else at times. It's all I can do to keep myself from thinking about how great it feels to be with her. Kissing her, teasing her, fucking her. The plans I'm making in my head are all going to come together in just a few hours. And I can't wait!