Thinking of Him All the Time

I sent this picture to JJ a few weeks after we met.  It was true.  I was thinking about him all the time. And I wasn't just thinking about sex with him.  I was thinking about talking with him,  too, and just being close to him. I checked my email obsessively to see if  he had written, and when he did, I read his messages more than once....or twice..or more.

Of course, that's what new relationships are like. Every day brings a new discovery and every encounter  reveals something new about your lover and yourself.

The problem is that newness, that honeymoon period, eventually ends.  It usually doesn't end abruptly, but the newness fades away.  Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.

Then what? Heck, for most of us, it's the boredom of a long term marriage that led us to look outside our marriage for ...well, you know.

Some of us jump from affair to affair in constant search of that newness. But it was different with JJ.

That's how I knew there was something very special about our relationship.  When the newness wore off, I  found I was still thinking of him often. I still do.

I think about his kindness and the sweet things he says.  I think about his sense of humor and how he makes me laugh.  I think about his work and I worry that he works too hard. I think about how I can't wait to write to him to tell him about my day.  I think about when I'll be able to take a naughty photo for him.  I think about how he'll respond to it when he sees it. I think about how I can't wait to see him again.

And, yes, I think about the sex, and his kiss....and how amazing I feel when I'm with him.

It's not like there isn't routine that develops after being together for months, but that routine feels comforting, solid.  A little routine and predictability can be good things, and they don't  have to cool the heat in a relationship.

Looking forward to seeing JJ again brings back that newness for me....and then I can't stop thinking about him....again.